no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
