I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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