I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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