What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
