is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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