When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
