You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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