windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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