quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
