Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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