just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
