And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
