I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
