definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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