My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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