Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
