I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize