just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
