no, he came in my armpit
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
