you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
