I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize