ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
