Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
