i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Someone shit on the floor
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize