Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
