I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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