he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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