Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
