One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
