Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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