Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
