found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
