Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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