I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
