I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
