Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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