i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
