Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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