I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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