What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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