Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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