My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
