she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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