You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
