I can text with my tongue
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
