Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
is it fun? or sober?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize