so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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