Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
