don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
