Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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