oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize