Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
