If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
