My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
