i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
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