seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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