ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize