her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Operation Purity has been aborted
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
