think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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