i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
